A doorway opens only once you step toward it

I realised it wasn't my sexuality that was blocked, it just never felt safe to unfold before. For the first time, I experienced what it means to open without pressure or performance. I could see how often I override myself to accommodate others, especially men. There was nothing to do, nothing to perform, and that changed everything for me. I experienced that when I feel safe, my energy becomes naturally radiant.

The Initiation Sequences have cleared so much from my body. I didn't realise how much I was holding, carrying and trying to contain. The feeling of lightness, vibrancy and inner power has returned, and I carry it with me everywhere I go.

When I first started working with Nityama 10 years ago, my experience of his energy was very different than it is now. At the time, the work was mostly about getting through thick layers of conditioning, defence mechanisms, habits, beliefs, and old patterns. I went through the mental and physical pain of deconstruction. Since then many of the known roadblocks have been cleared, and my body has undergone a transformation. Now I experience an illumination of pathways that are already present in me, a heightened awareness of my mental processes and the subtle energies in my body. The image I get is of lights coming on in a city that had been covered in darkness. The cities are already there. Nityama turns on the lights and makes them visible. I so value this support for my life.

I'm someone who's always needed time, and this was the first space that truly allowed it. My body finally had permission to move at its own rhythm. I felt both deeply in my body and aware of everything at the same time. This gave me a completely new understanding of safety in my body. I experienced a softness and power in myself that felt completely natural, and I saw how adapting to others' timing had shaped my whole experience of intimacy. The whole initiation felt like reconnecting to something I've always known but lost access to.

Baba Nityama's presence is undeniably solid, practical and patient. His insistence on cutting through the noise to get to the bottom line of any topic, with brute honesty and unwavering attention, is admirable. Most priceless was his ability to turn my concerns into practical opportunities for self-reflection, unveiling unnecessary reactions to life and insisting I look at long-held misperceptions with greater consideration and compassion. That revelation activated an immediate release around my heart. The real proof showed up in the most unexpected ways: my magnetism increased, and my ability to hear guidance from within became even louder, clearer, more timely and direct.